Okay, Stop Freaking Out

I have to tattle on myself. I just realized that lately I have been freaking out a lot. About whether I’m going to make any money on this full-time music thing. The question of whether this whole thing will be viable has always been there lurking in the background, persistent and nagging. But like the frog in the pot of water, this has been turning into a gremlin lately. A healthy measure of fear can be a good motivator, but anxiety run rampant can be quite incapacitating.

When friends ask me how the music thing is going and I jokingly respond with, “I don’t think I’ve ever worked this hard for hardly any money.” Such is the life of a professional musician. I knew this wouldn’t be easy. People close to me know this wasn’t going to be easy and yet have been very supportive. For the foreseeable future, I have the grace and support to pursue what I love. I need to remember that it is important to also love doing it instead of letting unrealistic unmet expectations discourage me.

It’s also good to keep in mind that progress is never linear and almost always takes longer than expected. I certainly didn’t think it was going to take close to a year to get my new CD out. But guess what? There are boxes of it somewhere on a Fed Ex truck set to arrive in the next couple of days. Progress indeed!!

My wife has been telling me to stop worrying. My mom has been telling me to stop worrying. Straight from the two most important women in my life. Okay, I need to let go of the crazies and have faith. So, let’s give this blog post a fitting subtitle: “Don’t Worry, Be Happy”.

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1 Comment

Filed under Art, Life, Music Career

One response to “Okay, Stop Freaking Out

  1. A point I should’ve probably made clear in my last post is that people tend to have an inherent fear of the unknown that drives us to take caution pretty much every time we make a decision. It’s often a voice of reason that deters us from jumping headfirst into a bad situation.

    I’d love to be supportive myself, especially since your music is easy listening, it’s easy to wish you success. However unfortunately nobody really really know what’s going to happen in life, so any time there’s decision making you never know if the choices you’ve made are good ones until you’ve seen the results firsthand.

    This especially goes for decisions that’re longer in the making because we have proportionally more time analyze our decisions before realizing the final outcome. The worst part about it is that as we analyze our lot in life more and more it makes less and less sense to doubt ourselves, the momentum we’ve already put behind the decisions makes it difficult to turn back.

    I’ve come to this realization in part due to my affinity towards video games. I’ll admit the concerns there are comparatively rather consequential petty to a personal career choice you wish to make a living upon, especially since there are no second chances in real life. However they do tend to put you in a decision making capacity very frequently, giving you a better chance at introspectively analyze your own thoughts and emotions. Not only as you’re making them but also after-the-fact to see how you might improve the decision making process.

    A fallacy that often comes up in multiplayer games is that if you’d made one move differently, that the rest of the game might’ve been made easier. However if you’d made that move who’s to say your opponent wouldn’t have responded differently to the slight as well? Sometimes even while exercising the best of our decision making capabilities there are so many factors outside of our control, pendent on outside forces and random chance that even our best choices don’t help very much.

    Granted I doubt anybody’s opposing your success like a rival in a multiplayer game but the point is even if you hadn’t pursued your career in music, the lot you may’ve chosen might not’ve been that much wiser. My mother used to always say to people that we could die in a car accident tomorrow for all we know.

    I suppose these might not be the best of things to say to put one’s mind t ease. However the point that I feel most prudent to mention is no matter what failure’s inevitable if we don’t ever try at all or if we give up before all’s said and done. We can only achieve success through the active pursuit of our stated goals and all we can do is try our best to help facilitate the process of success. As such it’d be far more regrettable to give up than to’ve tried and failed, in my humble opinion.

    A link to the game that had me thinking about this stuff most set up as ‘my site’ even though it’s really not (I just don’t know if HTML tags work here or not). It’s a bit time consuming and complicated but those are the points that make it so exemplary to the precepts at hand.

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