Soul Tired

I knew this would happen. I just knew it. I’ve been around the block enough times to know that after you’ve pushed pushed pushed through a crisis and pushed some more and pushed some more again…and then finally finally things have started to resolve and settle down, then…

crash

So, a bit alarmed I am to realize that I haven’t written a blog for a few weeks. I have been in a bit of a fog lately. Mentally and emotionally exhausted. Soul tired. This is natural after a crisis, so I tell myself, so I should keep telling myself.

The good news of course, for those of you who have been following along with my blogs and facebook statuses and tweets, is that my Dad is expected to make a full recovery. He is currently in a rehab facility very close to where they live. My Mom can take a shuttle service to get to and from the facility. She used to be able to walk such short distances, but she has suffered vertigo the past few years and any amount of downward incline can send her reeling. It’s strange to see what happens to people when they get older. In all other respects my Mom is very healthy for 84.

The good news of course is that, though things could have gone very differently, they didn’t. It was my sister Kitty who made the observation at about week 4 of the hospital vigil that if Dad hadn’t made it, we would have already had the funeral by then. Very strange. She finally returned home to California last Saturday.

It’s interesting how hard it has been to get moving again after weeks of sitting, worrying, praying, waiting.  I am finally starting to feel like I’m coming back online, getting more engaged, more present. Things are starting to get back to “normal”, although there are still daily/weekly responsibilities around Mom and Dad’s care. But we are definitely out of the woods.

Interesting thing for me is now that things can get back to normal, I don’t know what normal is anymore. So much has changed in the last three months even without my Dad’s health crisis. I now have a new career. Building up any sort of momentum for this new season has been difficult, to say the least. What normal looks like is going to have to work itself out over the next few months. Meanwhile I have other things I need to do today, so enough blogging.

Thank you all once again for your thoughts and your prayers through this difficult time. Whew!

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