Getting Off the Pot

So perhaps you are intrigued by my title. No, I don’t smoke the wacky tobacky. I am referring to the fact that I haven’t blogged since I got back from Ecuador.

And I feel bad about it.

Sort of like when you haven’t called a close relative for a while. Weeks go by and then you get the dreaded phone message: “Hi, just wondering if you still walked the earth” or something equally shamecastic. Once you realize you’re in trouble, it makes you even less motivated to call. You know you are probably going to get an earful.

So, here I am, getting off the pot… or am I pooping? I am not sure how the metaphor applies. Perhaps because I am writing this blog, I am now pooping instead of getting off the pot. I’m confused. But at the very least I was able to work poop into my blog, so I have something to feel good about. Sort of like after… oh, nevermind…

They (whoever “they” are… the blog experts, I suppose) say that you shouldn’t write posts that have more than 200 words. WordPress even provides a handy little status bar letting me know how many words I have typed. I’m now over the limit. And I’ve said very little other than refer to shame and poop.

Speaking of, have you ever noticed when you’re at the office building, you’re walking down the hall and a co-worker emerges from the restroom. They usually have this embarrassed look on their face, as if to say, “Yep, you caught me. I was going to the bathroom.” For some inexplicable reason, it embarrasses them to know that you know what they were doing. Like, doesn’t everybody have to do that at some point or other? Like several times a day? Maybe it’s just a guy thing. Ladies, please put in your two cents.

Perhaps it seems rather incongruous that while they may project godlike hubris in the conference room as they endeavor to build their empire, guess what, they have to go number onesies and twosies just like the rest of the mere mortals down here. How humiliating!

Here’s a thought: Have a little fun. Next time you see a high-powered VP/Director/GM come out of the john give them a little wink as if to say “I know what you were doing!”. It would also probably be a good idea to have your resume updated and your exit strategy in place.

Okay, I’m pushing 400 words. Now I am in serious trouble.

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3 Comments

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3 responses to “Getting Off the Pot

  1. Shelley Kaplowitz

    I have to admit, I came for the poop references and I am leaving, well, satisfied. :)

  2. it’s true across the board I think. The best is when they come out with a magazine thinking (or hoping) that you didn’t see it. :)

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